In a mystery I recently read, the repentant family member died – after wielding an inheritance like a club to get people to do her bidding – and the main character considers whether he can forgive the old woman for her life-long ill-treatment of him. His considered opinion was that deathbed apologies are too little, too late. It got me to thinking.
In the Bible, Jesus was crucified between two criminals – one was forgiven of his sins by Christ. (What else would Jesus’ declaration that the criminal would be with him in Paradise mean?) We are left to wonder about the other, although the implication is that he was not forgiven, because we are not told his attitude of anger and bitterness changed. I know the fact of Jesus’ forgiveness of the thief on the cross comforts many people, because it allows us hope that it’s never too late – that a messed-up soul can be redeemed at the last moment.
But the idea that a person can be forgiven by God at the end of a life lived selfishly – full of deceit or cruelty or callousness – simply for the asking! – infuriates some, who may feel that their own efforts to live rightly are diminished by God’s forgiveness of a scoundrel who repents in their last days. Shouldn’t following the rules result in the better reward?
This is the thinking of the prodigal son’s brother. The father’s forgiveness of the younger son diminished the elder brother’s obedience, his thinking went. He had behaved better, so the father should not only reward him (which hadn’t happened, he felt) but also make a clear demarcation between who toed the line and who screwed up, by treating them differently.
I personally have always been compliant, so this line of thinking really resonates with me. I can
say that I shouldn’t compare my behavior to anyone else’s, but I don’t truly believe it. I know intellectually that I fall short of His standards, but right away the thought pops up – not as far short as she does…
But doesn’t this confuse a person’s behavior with their soul? The sudden enlightenment, the understanding that results in repentance, is to be understood as separate from actions. Actions, deeds, behaviors do not save us. The positioning of our souls in right alignment with God – the creation to the Creator, the small to the Mighty, the weak to the Powerful One, the broken sinner to the One Who provided the Savior, Jesus Christ – this positioning can be effected over a lifetime or in a moment. The crucial concern is that it happens.
Those who spend a life in effort to conform with God’s will do reap many blessings, seen and unseen; peace not the least of these (Psalm 128:1-4). The habit of looking towards God for direction accomplishes a very important thing – it positions us to accept help from outside our own limited resources. Those who cannot accept that their own power has limits habitually look inside themselves for help in every situation.
This doesn’t make them strong…it makes them incapable of recognizing their limits, even though warned. In their efforts to feel powerful in themselves – self-sufficient – they are in fact denying themselves unlimited power, with every decision to “take care of it themselves” a refusal of God’s offers of help. When they come to the end of themselves (through calamity, or imminent mortality), they are faced with the stark reality that they in themselves are not enough. It is at this point that deathbed conversions – that sudden understanding of God’s place and authority – will be the salvation of some. They will recognize their lifetime of efforts to go it alone have robbed them of something precious; and breaking entrenched habit, they free themselves to accept the gift of salvation. And God rejoices among His angels! (Luke 15:10)
Deathbed conversion is not a plan, though. As discussed in The Pilgrim’s Progress, waiting until life’s end days to consider spiritual matters is like a man facing a 20 mile walk to attend an appointment and putting it off until the hour before he is due to arrive. Habitually turning away from spiritual matters does not prepare a man for accepting God’s authority and Jesus’ intercession for his soul at the crisis point; and then habit and a fleeting window of opportunity combine to prevent many from accepting what could have been theirs all along. Ultimately, they will be suddenly destroyed – without remedy (Psalm 29:1).
So I believe in late-life repentance, even if it leaves no time for a change in behavior to confirm the fact or bless others. The vital event has taken place, because, as we sing, “My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save…”. Unfortunately, Man, in seeking to be powerful, only finds himself mighty to lose.
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